Thankyou for calling dial an asshole

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So at the beep, leave your name, your number, your message, and ten thousand dollars in a brown paper bag. Don't you do it! Looking for a good time? Leave me a message and i'll leave you with and abstract thought. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

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I'm David's answering machine.

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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages

Who in hell do you want? You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. Thank you for calling the Metropolitan Church of the Holy Bible. And since no one was able to make it to the phone in time, we ask that you leave your name, number and a brief message sometime after the beep. To the tune of "Heartbreak Hotel" with appropriate music:

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