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And it felt like the physical angle of everything having to do with evacuation and intercourse had somehow shifted after childbirth in new and uncomfortable ways. She told me that a rectocele occurs when the muscle between the rectum and vagina is so worn and thin that the rectum kind of pops out into the vagina. Women with rectoceles generally complain of perineal and vaginal pressure, obstructive defecation, constipation, or the need to splint or digitally reduce the vagina to effectuate a bowel movement. After learning about my rectocele, I went to see a pelvic floor specialist. The words are utterly absent, even to those of us who seek to learn more about these conditions and educate others. Here in the US, I learned about my condition 10 years after I first had symptoms. We can start conversations and healing.

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A cystocele is when the bladder bulges into the vagina.

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My vagina was badly injured after giving birth. Why was getting help so hard?

I healed, and when I had another child five years later, I tore in the same place. Women with rectoceles generally complain of perineal and vaginal pressure, obstructive defecation, constipation, or the need to splint or digitally reduce the vagina to effectuate a bowel movement. My vagina has changed a lot in my 46 years. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. To be sure, some vaginas take a licking and keep on ticking. The emotional and sexual ramifications of my situation included secrecy, shame and isolation. These are the medical terms for what I knew through anecdotal evidence was common practice:

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